Though I saw a beautiful and vibrant 17-year old girl sitting in my office,
she saw herself as her vulnerable and shamed 13 year old self.
Our childhood traumas keep us living in the past.
But life is so incredibly sweet once we are free from the grips of the past….
…when we are free to experience true joy that isn’t tainted by shame, embarrassment, anger, or fear from childhood events.
I recently met with Carly*, a beautiful 17 year old girl….
…who felt sooooo un-beautiful.
Carly had the perfect natural curl in her hair, porcelain skin, sparkling eyes, and a smile that lights up the room.
According to society’s standards, she had the perfect size and weight.
She surprised me when she said she felt so big and ugly.
I thought …. hmmm, where did this come from?
She surprised me when she said she felt so big and ugly.
I thought …. hmmm, where did this come from?
Well, it all came out during our session together.
Carly was always tall for her age.
In 2nd grade, she was made fun of because of her size.
That began her journey of self-hatred when it came to her body.
The ridicule lasted for years, led mainly by one particular “friend”.
It culminated in 8th grade when this “friend” filmed her getting sick in a bathroom stall at school and posted the video online for all to see.
The shame and embarrassment Carly felt was deep.
Her self-hatred and self-anger ran even deeper.
The shame and embarrassment Carly felt was deep.
Her self-hatred and self-anger ran even deeper.
Fast forward to her senior year in high-school, when I met with her.
Though I saw a beautiful and vibrant young woman sitting in my office…
She felt like a vulnerable 8th grade girl full of shame and embarrassment.
She was living in the past….
Stuck in that past trauma.
Not free to be her true self.
Carly said she didn’t feel comfortable getting close to other people and preferred to be alone, where she felt safe.
But she wanted to feel more connected to others, to be comfortable giving and accepting love and affection.
This was her intention that day.
But she didn’t know how to get there.
Using techniques from Applied Kinesiology (muscle testing), I asked her Higher Self what we needed to do to get her there.
Her Higher Self directed us to this embarrassing incident from the 8th grade.
The trauma, shame, embarrassment, and self-anger from this event were trapped in her nervous system.
The trauma, shame, embarrassment, and self-anger from this event were trapped in her nervous system.
And these trapped emotions were preventing her from being comfortable in her own skin.
It was these trapped emotions that would surface years later when someone tried to hug her or get close to her.
She was living in the past, trapped in the trauma of a 13 year old girl.
There are several tools I use to help reprogram this type of trauma, and that day her Higher Self directed us to use the EFT / Tapping technique.
Emotional Freedom Technique (Tapping) offers us a way to calm the nervous system while gently recalling the events and emotions from difficult events.
We tap on key acupressure points on the face and body and this sends a calming signal to our entire being.
It allows us to circumvent the fight or flight response so that we can release the trapped emotions and rewrite the meaning that we give to those difficult events from the past.
It allows us to become empowered to see ourselves as we truly are now, rather than being chained to the emotions we felt during the initial trauma.
I led this beautiful young lady through a tapping session where she finally rewrote her “story’ around this 8th grade incident.
She was finally able to process, without resistance, the shame, embarrassment, and self-anger that had been living within her for 4 years.
She was finally able to process, without resistance, the shame, embarrassment, and self-anger that had been living within her for 4 years.
Tears were shed by both of us as we moved through this sacred process together.
At the end, she looked so much lighter and more peaceful.
She said she felt so calm.
The intensity she felt when recalling this event went from a 10 to a 2.
She thanked me over and over again.
But it wasn’t me that healed this within her.
She healed it.
She healed it by acknowledging the pain of that event and finally accepting and allowing herself to feel and process the shame, embarrassment, and anger ….
…without judging those emotions and without resisting them.
The tapping helped her do this with ease and grace.
And when this happened, her body finally metabolized those “molecules of emotion” that had been trapped for 4 years.
And she felt the sweetness of relief.
She was finally free.
* Name changed for privacy.
I teach about EFT / Tapping in my home study course, The SELF Method: Reduce Stress & Boost Health in 21 Days.